Spring is suposed flowers in bloom, lambs frolicing in the fields, trees getting greener, lighter and longer days and most of all plenty of time to get out.  I’m not sure what’s gone wrong this year.  Sure we have the countryside renewal but the opportunities to want to get out and about are few and far between. We seem to be switching from mid winter to Spring in 24 hour periods.  And, the rain.  Oh the rain.  It just keeps coming and coming creating a kiwi monsoon.

People are very confused.  Today I dressed in brighter colours with a matching cardigan to complete the suposed Spring fashion ensemble only to be told that I was ahead of myself and that it’s not really the weather for such brightness.  I decided not to share my warm and toasty thermal underwear secrets!

If it weren’t for the flowers blooming in the garden you could easily think we were in the grip of winter still.  Bleak, dark and very very cold.  They are the one bright spark to keep my enthusiasm going.

Oh, that and news that we (Catapult) have just won a large contract with a big Government department which means my work cup may be overflowing next year.  The strange thing is shortly after I’d delighted in the news my heart sank. How on earth am I going to stick to my working guns and keep my Domestic Executive life?  And then almost immediately I bounced back and thanked my lucky stars that we are fortunate in being in this position. After a few days to digest, the worry has gone and I’m left with excitement that this is probably the opportunity to get into an even working pattern.

Being self employed has all sorts of benefits.  The flexibility to pick and choose when you work.  The chance to pick what you work on.  The opportunity to mix and match and create a business around your lifestyle and not the other way around.  The downside is that on those dark days when the phone doesn’t ring you start to doubt if you’ll get work ever again.  When it gets really bleak the inland revenue send you a tax bill that is based on your sunny optimistic predictions of what your income would be and then you realise that your cash flow means that paying the provisional tax bill (payment of estimated taxes in advance) will be a struggle.  So solid sign up contracts of the nature we’ve just won are a godsend to small businesses and self employed people like myself.  Now I just need to work out how we’ll schedule things to fit it all in.  My theory of let as many work flowers bloom isn’t going to work next year.

I think it’s the ingrained pessimism that strikes me down and holds me back.  I like to think of myself as a glass half full person but in reality on a bad day I’m definitely a glass half empty person.  Mental exercise for the rest of the year is to think and maintain that positive optimistic view of things.  To not worry or worse still panic.  Although I maintain that it’s the hormones that makes me do that!

So think of the Spring we’re having.  Miserable, wet and cold.  But at least the days are lighter for longer, the garden is coming to life and there is new season lamb in the shops to eat.   All of a sudden it doesn’t seem so bad.

Although I still reserve the right to moan about the weather.  After all I said I’m going to change my thinking not my heritage – I wouldn’t be British if I gave up our angsting about the rain!